who am i, where have i gone? feeling so low.. in Support Forum

RSS
Email

0 Points

who am i, where have i gone? feeling so low..

Author	Comment
igberty	who am i, where have i gone? feeling so low..	Lead	[-]
Posts: 22 04/29/12 5:20 AM Reply Quote More My Recent Posts	Tags : None hello, i've had tinnitus for nearly three months now and i feel it's taken control of my life. every day is a massive struggle, and i'm unable to feel i can sort the other areas of my life, i feel so alone, my phone has hardly rung in weeks, i've withdrawn, and feel trapped by everything, my job, my social life and this infernal ringingis giving me no peace to sort my head so i can come to terms with it. my peace and ability to recuperate seems to of dissappeared. my room used to be my haven, now it feels more like hell. i can;t escape my thoughts, i can;t socialise properly and i can;t stop thinking about this, which in turns starts me thinkging about all the other !@#%...more sleep would definitely help... I decided to try and dig myself out and go to a old workmates party, i felt like he expected to be talking to an old me, one that was happy(enough) and adventurous, these days i dread the weekends, and then the coming week.i'm too tired to socialise and when i do, i know i'm being weird, i might look like i'm listening, but i'mbusy thinking bad thoughts and wondering where all my confidence went.. i left the party at one, fast forward to 5am i'm in my bed with my head in my hands, in hell... how did other people recover from this? do i have to be a different person now? i can't go on like this :-(
noodles		#1	[-]
Posts: 80 04/29/12 7:59 AM TSMB Supporter Reply Quote More My Recent Posts	Hang in there! I am only a little over 4 months in but it has been a lot better than in the beginning. I think that I have came along much faster only because other more pressing health issues/scare cropped up 2 months in and took my attention away from the T. Funny how it never bothered me one bit during that period. I learnt one thing though..... that T only becomes intrusive when it is the focus. Now that the other things are on the back burner, T is coming to the fore front again and it is frustrating some days. However it is slightly easier now...I do have good days and bad (not just bad). I am also beginning to sleep without any sound aids just because I am getting that attitude of " I am just too tired to care". I think my biggest fear is if this thing is going to get worse over time but I need to conquer my thoughts. Like you, I stopped socializing and my friends actually stopped calling because they were afraid that talking on the phone would aggravate my situation! Slowly, I started going back into my routine. The first party I went to, I made a decision to leave early, so I wouldn't stress myself out. Worked great. Than as I felt better things just got back to what it used to be. I dreaded weekends, weekdays, holidays, hell just days and nights! The members on this board helped me tremendously. Like everyone else, I didn't think I would enjoy my life again. I am still a long way from what it used to be and I hate that I still think about T but I do see the light at the end of the tunnel. I think you, I and everyone else that has to fight this battle will be different persons from what we were but we will be better.
Alexander		#2	[-]
Posts: 161 04/29/12 9:32 AM Reply Quote More My Recent Posts	I've searched for your posts here and I saw that you're taking antidepressants you need to keep taking them, if current aren't helpful enough, demand stronger ones/ raise dose. It may seem improbable at this moment, but if the drug rolls on, tinnitus will be put on background. The noise will still be there as it is now but it won't be bothering you and you'll be able to carry on with your thoughts undisturbed. At least that's how it was for me. I was taking AD some months into my T years ago and I also had side effects from my drug, to be more precise [warning offence possible] ejaculation from orgasms ceased to happen. I was scared and withdrawed from it and decided not to search for any replacement. That was a mistake which costed me a few years of productive life. Likewise I got T because of my own fault and from exposure to loud music and likewise it has ravaged my social life in the long term. It took me 6-7 years to recover without drugs then. What you are describing to be your life is a list of symptoms for clinical depression actually. Clinical depression is a disease you got along with tinnittus as a precursor. Though there is little can be done with T for now, but from depression there are a lot of options available which are capable to make you feel fine and stay sane at the same moment, I'm gonna repeat even if it's looking unrealistic at this moment
igberty		#3	[-]
Posts: 22 04/29/12 11:15 AM Reply Quote More My Recent Posts	I started taking citalopram, but unfortunately it made my tinnitus worse (and still hasn't went down From then) I'm quite worried to take anything else now especially ones with tinnitus as a side effect. Thanks for all your words.
Moz		#4	[-]
Posts: 1253 04/29/12 12:36 PM TSMB Supporter Reply Quote More My Recent Posts	igberty, the first 3 months of t, for me, was a real nightmare. My t is 24/7, the super loud, super high frequency variety. I couldn't work, couldn't do normal things, couldn't see a future. All I did was pace the house like an extra in a zombie movie. I drank myself to sleep every night. I kept telling myself this was it, the end of the line. There was no way I could live with this BS in my head, & nobody was going to tell me I could. Fast forward a few months, I'm now doing OK. I'm back to work, back to doing the everyday, normal activities of life, back to having fun. I've lost all the stress & anxiety related to t. It's not life threatening anymore, it's just annoying as hell I too was taking downers during the day to cope, but that lasted about 2 months. I just use sleep meds at night now You're still in the dreaded early stage. It took me almost 4 months to realize my life wasn't over & to get over the initial freak out stage. What you're experiencing is the normal, early stage reaction phase. Hopefully you'll soon begin to change your thought process & your life will begin to get back to normal The passing of time works wonders. Relax, think clearly & it will happen
muttanjeff		#5	[-]
Posts: 2693 04/29/12 4:40 PM Reply Quote More My Recent Posts	igberty wrote: I started taking citalopram, but unfortunately it made my tinnitus worse (and still hasn't went down From then) I'm quite worried to take anything else now especially ones with tinnitus as a side effect. Thanks for all your words. consider the possibility that the citalopram didn't make your tinnitus worse you may well be assigning your increased problems coping with your tinnitus to the medication it might not be the medication there are certainly other good ones to try igberty, i hear someone who is boxing himself in find someone to talk to and someone to help you get your nervous system calmed down so you can get your recovery going
raindance74		#6	[-]
Posts: 134 04/29/12 10:06 PM Reply Quote More My Recent Posts	Three months is the early phase of the condition. Trust us, you will feel better with time, and science is making rapid progress towards a cure so for someone young, tinnitus is no longer a life long illness.
igberty		#7	[-]
Posts: 22 04/30/12 2:15 AM Reply Quote More My Recent Posts	i really hope i find a way to get over this and i'm hoping this passes with time. I would agree with you muttanjeff if it wasn't for the ringing it caused in the good ear, i'm going to go to the doctor tomorrow and see if i can get something to help me sleep, sleep and the weekends are the worst time (too much time at he weekends)
dmb1954		#8	[-]
Posts: 12 05/01/12 6:41 AM Reply Quote More My Recent Posts	I'm also 3 months in, going on the 4th month and I know how hard dealing with T can be. Luckily I don't have it very bad, but it's still annoying. I've made some lifestyle changes, the main one being sleeping in the spare bedroom since my wife does not want to hear the masking noise. I'm retired so I know about free time. I keep busy with work around the house and hobbies. Our yard always provides something to do. The house is old enough to be in need of some paint. My wife is good at finding something to fix. You may not have these options, but it's good to find something to occupy your mind. I find that I'm able to ignore and forget about the tinnitus for increasing periods of time by focusing on something engaging. More so with more involved tasks unless they are frustrating. As muttanjeff noted someone to talk to assist you is vital. The first ENT doc I went to was a complete waste. The second was a complete 180 turnaround. His attitude alone was uplifting. He was willing to try a steroid treatment and he had several suggestions for other treatments and lifestyle adjustments. Unfortunately the steroids were no magic bullet, but unlike ENT #1 he was willing to try something and make useful suggestions. Anything that makes it better is OK with him. Homeopathy, TRT, masking, antidepressants, counseling, if it helps it's good. I'm on Sertraline courtesy of my GP and no longer need sleep meds. My wife, my son and my 2 very devoted dogs have been helpful, supportive and comforting. A normal relationship with friends and relatives I realized was a positive since it was me early on alienating myself. They weren't trying to shut me out. Best Wishes, dmb1954.
Groons		#9	[-]
Posts: 62 05/02/12 5:46 AM Reply Quote More My Recent Posts	Everything said above is spot on. I appreciate this forum and am thankful to the members who share their experiences, it's been really helpful to me. I wish I would have found it early on. Mine is very loud 24/7 with only a few times that the level went down in the last year. As they say, it will get better. Maybe not lower, but less intrusive in your life. That's a hard thing to accept right now, and little comfort right now, but it is true. Get something to help sleep, poor sleep is stressful, stress is one of the major aggravating factors in T level. As noted above, find a good ENT, I went through a couple of them who didn't know squat. Find one who deals with tinnitus patients, he will have experience in masking aids. Since my tinnitus is in the left ear I use a small noiser in that ear to have something else to listen to in the background. It helps. Get out and start your life again. The more active you are the faster you will come to grips with it. Will your life be different? I'm willing to bet it will not be different after a couple of months. You will push the T into the background more often and with more ease. A lot of folks on the board know the feeling of waking in the middle of the night with the ringing screaming in your head and not knowing which way to turn. You are not alone in that respect. Get something to help sleep and get out again, get active. You'll be surprised how quickly you start dealing with it.
Scott Kuz		#10	[-]
Posts: 574 05/02/12 10:19 AM Reply Quote More My Recent Posts	Also, we have probs in life without T as well..huge ones...and had huge probs before T as well......I had a period in my life where I was just plain miserable for a few years without T....so, on the contrary, you can be quite happy WITH T as well....I truly think that, the harder time people have adapting, the worse their T seems subjectively.....when you no longer give a sh about it, the brain learns to focus its processing power, which is very finite, with something else....often it will even get quieter, even go away, when/if you stop giving a sh about it...

<< Previous Topic Next Topic >>

Yuku free message boards

who am i, where have i gone? feeling so low..

who am i, where have i gone? feeling so low..